Having reflected earlier upon the ‘dualities’ and ‘splittings’ occuring both in my personal and research process, i can recognise the urgent need to ground myself. As my supervisor put it: “you need to embed yourself”. I am contemplating on the meaning of this word, for which I found a number of definitions, depending on the context,such as: To become an integral part of something or to enclose closely; implant: fix or set securely or deeply; attach to. This also explains my need lately to in-bed (put myself to bed) and sleep, as if there is work to be done at an unconscious level, hence my vivid dreams.

I definitelly dont want to analyse here my personal issues of insecure attachment and how all this appears to be affecting various aspects of my life. But it worths noting that this issue is relavant to my ‘cultural unrootedness’ and how also the PhD process seems to be experienced as needing to settle more, to get rooted, set more securely. My attempt is to speak with Colin about it and explore what support i could get, even if short term. God Help