Atrapos.eu » My Writings

Peer debrieferes

atrapos — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:49:28 +0000

I just want to make a not on how useful it is to have certain peers available to read sections on the thesis and offer feedback. In Creswell (2007) peer review or debriefing is presented as a strategy for validation of one’s research. In Lincoln and Cuba (1985) the role of the peer debriefer is seen as ‘devil’s advocate’ in an attempt to keep the researcher honest and ask the challenging questions that would “provide the researcher with the opportunity for catharsis by sympathetically listening to the researcher’s feelings” (Creswell, 2007: 208). I am thankful to the peers that read my writins and offer such a creative, validation-checking process and further opportunities for sharpening my reflexivity.

Creswell, J.W. (2007 -2nd) Qualitative Inquiry & Research Design: Choosing Among Five Approaches. London: Sage.

Lincoln, Y.S. & Guba, E.G. (1985) Naturalistic Inquiry. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage.

Drafting Discussion chapter

atrapos — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:23:16 +0000

It has been a while that i havent written in this blog. I am so absorbed into thesis writing during those last months of the PhD that anything else that involves producing text has been left behind…a have managed to produce a lengthy draft of the Discussion Chapter which is the ‘juice’ of the research, it has not been easy journey but am glad that i have done it. I am aware that many changes will take place, a lot of editing etc. I am lucky to have some people offering to read bits of my writing and offer feedback. Some even get so stimulated by my subject that ask to meet me and discuss their ideas etc. A university lecturer in counselling at a University in a city near by even asked my permission to use my writings (when complete) for training and supervision purposes. These are really nice reactions from those colleagues, they make me feel that my work is making a contribution and am full of ideas of what i want to do with it all when Phd gets complete…but, have to get it done first!! so…am now starting a new chapter tomorrow…it may be a while till i post something in this space…but, it will all gradually come together

busy,busy,busy…but seeing more clearly ahead!

atrapos — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:00:43 +0000

am very busy with so many things these days and time flies so quikly! PhD writing is still hard but am making some progress, the more i go into it the more i discover. A shift that has happened now that i am writing the Discussion chapter, which feels like the hardest so far, is that i start identifying and seeing more clearly the useful practical implications emerging from my research, aside making a great contribution to knowledge/Literature on a topic where literature is actually limited or too fragmented….so, over last weekend and during this week, i have been contemplating on the different ways i can generate work for me, after the PhD, and offer a lot of what comes out in my research and personal experience in the form or workshops, training material, writing papers and so on…that filled me with feelings of both excitement and fear, like it usually happens when one finds his/her niche or calling of what he/she can contribute to, out there, where there is a need….the important thing is to stay grounded with what i have to complete in the present, whilst taking steps (maybe i can dedicate one day a week in planning and organising material for my future career possibilities, once i complete the PhD) towards what i want to build upon, as a basis for the future step…part of me is in the present, part in the future, i need to keep a balance and use my energy resources wisely. I am aware that i feel physically, emotionally and intelectually tired so, looking after myself is crucial at this stage.

‘writing up’ progress (the 2 wheels of the bike)

atrapos — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:01:41 +0000

Writing is not easy. Having drafted my Findings, I set up to do the Discussion chapter and i soon found that i got
stuck, i have some good days and bad days, i kind of have a
blockage of words flow sometimes cause i think i need to have the juice of the research ready to be articulated…which is not easy, i need to THINK and UNDERSTAND and produce the NEW MEANINGS before i can write them…this is happening gradually. To overcome that and not waste precious time, i also started working on the Literature Review and i found that maybe doing those 2 chapters parallel may be the way forward…that way, i have some sense of progress. when i get stuck in the Discussion bit, i go into the Literature and write something there…then, something i have read there kind of helps me write something in the Discussion….it is like the two wheels of the same bike. My supervisor has been advising me to proceed by trial-and-error and find out what works for me so that is ok. also, i have sent my findinsg draft to my 2nd supervisor and expecting some feedback from her….my progress feels very slow but i am trying to stick with it and respect my natural flow, writing needs inspiration, heuristic process needs time to reveal its seeds and can’t be forced so, although the clock is ticking, i trust that i am doing the best i can. I am generally feeling tired which means i need some holiday too, even if it for a week, i will see what i can do in August, depending how my writing goes and my energy levels. I feel supported by the fact that other PhD students i talk to feel in a similar way at this stage…

My letter to THE GUARDIAN (“Marbles in Exile”)

atrapos — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 09:42:06 +0000

As am writing my Discussion chapter about mobility between countries/cultures etc, there is a HOT debate again in British newspapers about the Greek Marbles of the Parthenon (Elgin vandalised them and they were shipped to London over a century ago) due to the official opening of the New Acropolis Museum in Athens this coming Sunday where there is space for them to return ‘home’. In response to those publicities, i sent a letter to the GUARDIAN yesterday, as per below:

FOR THE ‘LETTERS’ SECTION in ‘THE GUARDIAN’ (more…)

‘the penny dropped’…but, time is needed for the new mode

atrapos — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 12:43:53 +0000

I have started working on the Discussion chapter this week, trying to be more focused. I have not been sure where to start from and how to flow in my thinking since the meaning-making process is still taking place, it is not crystallised yet…maybe it can’t be. I write in a ‘patchwork’ sort of mode, a few paragraphs here and there, without cohesion at first, just trying to put some ideas on paper when they come in my mind and think of some headings for this chapter etc etc. I realise that there is a shift in my mode of being and thinking: so far, the research has been mostly ‘doing things to me’. Now that i have to discuss my research and find ways of expressing my ‘contribution to knowledge’ as a result of doing it, it is me that needs to take a more active role (not that i have been any passive but my immersion has had huge impact in my lived experience)….now it is me that needs to make an impact, to find the gems of what i have been exploring and looking for, like when one finds the ‘diamond’ in the mud and work needs to be done to bring it out, it all its shining…so, having realised that new way of needing to approachmy writing now, ‘the penny dropped’ in some way…but, there is yet another transition taking place in that shift, it is yet another liminal space and am IN it now…things sometimes feel as if one is trying to ‘catch water in a net’…i trust that i will find a flow for this chapter too, i keep going…keep walking…the journey continues…

Reading Hertz (1997) & reflecting on ‘my story’ chapter

atrapos — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 22:46:12 +0000

It is a few weeks now that i have been trying to write a chapter that i will place before the methodology one in my Thesis, where i present ‘my own story’ in relation to how it links to the PhD topic, given that i am very much ‘data’ of what i am researching and my lived experience of the inquiry is inevitably influencing all the stages of the research process, from chosing the topic itself to my interaction and meaning-making of the data and the writing style. I find this a difficult section to write, i start and stop and find myself facing numerous decisions around who am i writing what for, how far do i go with self-disclosure and what are the motives around that, what is relevant and what is not and so on. (more…)

organising, structuring, meaning-making…as you write

atrapos — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 10:53:59 +0000

It is a couple of weeks that i am trying to draft the Findings chapter of the Thesis, as a first attempt of doing something more focused and organised…and finding it hard and slow process. I have written down a general outline of how the ’scaffolding’ of the chapter would be and what it may include, i showed it to my supervisor and he encouraged me to proceed with it. The target a have set for myself is to have something written before i have supervision again so that we can talk with things on paper. As i am trying to write, i see that the data is still all cluttered in my head and in my ‘ raw papers’ of transcripts if you like, although i have done some work with finding important verbatim quotes from participants and so on.

I think that what is happening is that i am trying to construct meaning whilst am looking at the transcripts and reading the participants’ stories. I am writing a couple of paragraphs for each participant so that i can introduce them to the reader and i see that this may take up a lot of word count. I am doing this now without thinking too much about it and will decide later, in supervision, whether i will leave at the main body of my text or in an appendix. As i read the transcripts to remember the stories and write the portraits, i am also finding the quotes that seem significant. I haven’t used any package to systematise those and i do wonder sometimes if i should have done but actually i think that this would not suit my methodology which requires that i have more freedom with the handling of the data rathern that squeezing in boxes etc…at this stage, i am accepting that it is all confusing still and that it will be getting more clear as i write and re-write, even if that is going slow for now…the more clear it becomes, the more easily it will ‘write itself’ .

writing…

atrapos — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 01:14:09 +0000

…very slowly really! i wrote 1300 words today in the theme of home and belonging. Not cause i had an idea where i will put it in the thesis, just cause it felt right or ready to start writing about it. I think that i have been trying to make a structure of chapters and then start writing but maybe this is not the way to go about it. Heuristically speaking, something needs to be ‘ready’ to be written inside me. This process creates a sense of anxiety inside me in terms of time management and whether i will manage to finish within my timeline, if i continue like this. On the other hand, i am taking into account Jeni’s (and my supervisor’s advice at times) that i shall trust the process and then it will all come together…i hope!

wat frustrates me is that i feel like i want to dive into the literature and start writing the methodology and Lit. Review chapter…BUT…i have been avoiding my data and data analysis and this is hanging around with potential unpredictable problems/ issues to resolve without having a closer look at it…so i have to do that analysis job actually and i feel drawn at different directions. Maybe i shall look at transcripts and write heuristic summaries of them till 1st October and then decide on next steps. in the meantime, i will be reading what attracts my interest,in natural flow, and type interesting quotes…i may not know now where i will use them but if sth catched my eye, i know i will use it in my writing at some point, at least…time to sleep now!

My report for the Indian conference to be published soon!

atrapos — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:57:37 +0000

How exciting it is to see one’s writing in print! The editor from Thresholds journal emailed me today with the pdf of my publication which will be out soon…it is my reflexive report for the conference in India during January, titled: “Namaste: Spirituality and Cultue meet in Bangalore”. I really enjoyed writing this piece and i also love the photos that Chris chose to publish alongside my paper. This trip and conference offered me so much insight around spirituality anc culture, as related to my personal path but also my counselling PhD study. I am looking forward to see the response from the readers, am sure that my supervisor and fellow travellers from the PhD team will also be as excited! NAMASTE is now my favourite, soulful greeting…

PhD Thesis Size

atrapos — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:06:29 +0000

During my last tutorial with my research supervisor, i was given a rough estimate of the different sections that form a qualitative Phd Thesis, this is something useful to keep in mind and i realise that although am still at the data collection stage, it is good to start writing draft chapters instead of leaving the whole thing to the end, which might end up quite overwhelming amongst anticipating that life still happens and there are unpreditable factors that might take up time. So, here are the average estimates that can lead to a 55-88.000 words thesis: (more…)

Writing up a book chapter for publication

atrapos — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 15:35:38 +0000

After a wave of procrastination with this, i have spent the whole day so far trying to put my head down in writing up a book chapter about Counselling, Spirituality and Culture (based on my MSc research) that will be included in William’s forthcoming book titled: “Counselling from the Edge: Innovations in Practice”. This is so exciting but yet feels so hard to get into the writing mode properly, sth that scares me in terms of how am i going to write a whole PhD. I can see that a routine is required but also the right mental, physical and most of all spiritual internal state and space. When i mentioned to W. about my resistance in the process, he commented by saying that am probably at a liminal inner space, provoked by the move between cultures and the situations in my life and inner world that is a great place to be for data collection but not an easy place to sit and write from. I guess, the only think i can do is continue trusting the process, be kind with myself and all am ‘cooking’ inside and try to have as much discipline as possible to remain productive. Today is was a good start…i cant wait to have the chapter completed, at least

Panel and conference presentations: the two wheels of the same vehicle (bike?)

atrapos — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 15:00:07 +0000

During the past week or so i have been revisiting the literature to discover quotes etc for the two powerpoint presentations I am preparing for this coming week: one for the review panel and one for the research conference. The two presentations are on the same topic, my research, buthave different audience, different purpose and different style. I notice that i find it far more difficult to prepare the slides for the review panel: this is cause the style is to be less personal, more based on the ‘to do’ and the facts of the research and it is to be presented to non-counsellors who will maybe ‘critisize’ (i hope in a constructive atmosphere) my work and kind of decide on whethere i can proceed. On the other hand, the presentation for the conference has the more ‘personal’ flavour of the research, i feel the freedom to tell my story to the audience of peers and feel that I am allowed to ‘move’ and ‘touch’them if i wish to, without feeling threatened, i can be more myself (more…)

Getting unstuck

atrapos — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 10:44:18 +0000

Am submitting review panel documents tomorrow and it feels like things have somehow ‘come together’…i was feeling kind of stuck lately but i had valuable disussions and feedback with a number of people that i wish to thank: William, Clare, Steph, Jim, Ann…am not sure how exactly this happened (maybe through immersion) but as S. pointed out to me:” It might be interesting to include in your thesis your process of fast tracking from stuck to unstuck in the space of 7 days”. In the paper by Lennie and West (under review) titled Dilemmas in Counselling Psychology Research, I read relevant points: (more…)

My writing…

atrapos — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 17:40:05 +0000

….after a couple of days of feeling ‘numb’ around my process, i had an urge today to start writing and made a start with writing my bit of my ’story’ that is rleated to the topic of “managing transitions and integartion of original and host culture”…for the book chapter am writing with C.L. I haven’t come too far with it, as it requires me finding ways to express processes that touch me deeply but am glad that I seem to be finding a voice for this kind of experience and even finding relavant literature for it. It feels painful to be writing about a personal experience that hasn’t settled well inside but there is a positive side in me that says that something good and helpful will come out of this…i just need to be courageous. I am chosing not to put my writing here in public yet as it is a document that will be submitted for publication to ‘Sage’ later in the year…but this is a kind of ‘narrative inquiry’ i just started doing, a way of writing which incorporates my own ’story’ and the debates around the topic…let’s see what comes out of it

My writings for publication

atrapos — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 14:18:38 +0000

This week I have set up the goal to complete writing up the two papers for publication I have put on hold for a couple of months now. One will be around the use of focus groups in counselling research (to be sent to the BJGC) and the other one will be around the content/findings drawn from my pilot MSc study (to be sent as a book chapter for WW’s forthcoming book. (at the same time I shouldnt forget working on the book chapter with C.L.!). As I go back into my files and books to warm up my thinking so as to get into ‘writing mode’ for those papers, I came accross an email that I received from Dr. Mary Fukuyama in September, responding to my email. Interesting points to take into account: (more…)