During the past few days, I have been dealing with personal issues. I am now consiously trying to restore my energy, to feed and nurture myseld somehow, to pace myself and show respect to the processes am going through. The research clock is ‘ticking’ and this makes me stressed but my supervisor advises me to trust the process. Self-care shall be a priority, whatever work am doing and however busy I am. The PhD shall not ‘take over’ my life, i shall remain healthy and balanced in all its demands. Hope things go well, hope my heart and mind get clear soon,hope i overcome the ‘crisis’ and come back to this space in more creative and resourceful ways…
I notice that I cannot write in this blog when my personal life is in turmoil and therefore the research gets ‘stuck’, as does the flow of the rest of my life…I just want to’confess’ to myself and any readers that this shall be OK for me. Life and its upheavals cannot stop during the PhD period, many things might come on the way and make a whole mess in my process…like another research student wrote on the flipchart as he was presneting the overview of his research, ‘life is still happening’ and as a result, there will be times that the research has to wait for a while, until there is a clearer mind and heart (of the researcher) to continue with it. I am going through a lot at the minute, at so many levels, it’snot easy…so i will be writing when it feels ok to do so…respecting my need for not being too exposed, when feeling insecure. Thank you (i consider this as a sign of developing my ability for self-care, sth that I know I haven’t been very good at in the past)
It seems I am going through a period of re-birth. It started a while ago and has involved a number of experiences with strong emotional responses. Now, it feels like i have to be strong enough to make a ‘breakthrough’. This might sound irrelevant to the research process but, actually, is not. In order for me to find the ‘researcher’s voice’, my top priority shall be my own well-being. The topics I have been involved in during the research period have been woven through so many personal experiences and this has not been, and still isn’t an easy process. But I nead to respect my pace and allow for things to emerge at their own time. … Read more »
It has been a while now that my relationship with research and the counselling field in general has been one of ‘love and hate’, in the sense that it has brought so many intense responses in me that I often wondered ‘what is this all about?’. There have been times that I felt ‘in love’ about being a counsellor and researcher and other times that I have felt (maybe also feel like this now) that I have ‘fallen out of love’ with it, that it is too hard work and I’d rather have some peace…somehow. As I was thinking about whether ‘I shall love my PhD’ in order to manage to do it, an interesting email come through my mailbox, about a research network on Love. Here is how they describe themeselves: … Read more »
I have been feeling a bit ‘lost’ in my process lately, as the research process is triggering many of my own wounds, sth that makes my vision blur due to the pain that overtakes my territory…I know that this is common in heuristic, qualitative studies. My dear friend Lola (a slovac artist) send me a quote that cherishes the importance of the ‘gap’, the nothing between things: … Read more »
