As i came back from the supervision meeting with W. yesterday, it was clear for one more time that the Phd process involves continuous challenges around making decisions: around my theoretical stance (postmodern or what?), about what to include and what to exclude in the Literature Review, about who to involve and who not to involve in the data collection, how strict my sample boundaries shall be, when do i stop collecting data, how am i going to analyse the data, to what extent do i want to expose myself as a researcher in the heuristic process etc etc…these are just a few of the dilemmas. … Read more »

       Am back to the UK after a prolonged exposure to my ‘homeland’ (GR), which was very eventful, both in terms of external events but more so in terms of internal process…it is really painful sometimes and i feel on the void, quite a lonely place to be. I guess it is because i often feel i cannot communicate my experiences and ‘where am at’to my own people, it doesn’t make much sense to them, something that increases my sense of alienation and ‘non-belongin’…it feels nearly like an ‘ectopic pregnancy’(being conceived but out of the womb?…or is the real womb irrelevant of geographical location after all?). anyway, am feeling quite emotional now and the whole PhD process feels unbearable sometimes, when it is so autobiographical and ethnographical (greek words again….am haunted or maybe blessed…need to make peace with all these cultural forces…back to the ’unresolved mother relationship again’). Being in the void is hard but the hopeful thing is that i have managed so far, i can fly, swim, walk on or in it…but why shall i be alone in it? Can i have a companion please?…a more intimate one…hey you, divine spirits, please respond! 

It is about a week that i am back ‘home’ and i observe some resistance around monitoring my inner process, both online in this blog or even off-line. I am aware of the fact that i feel in limbo, a lot of things ar under the magnitude lens and make me feel like the fish out of the water in this re-entry to my ‘home culture’, simply because it often feels as if i dont fit and i lose my sense of ‘freedom’ in a number of ways. I am reminded of Storti’s book (“the art of coming home”) where he was writing how ‘normal’ such feelings are for the sojourner… … Read more »

During the past week or so i have been revisiting the literature to discover quotes etc for the two powerpoint presentations I am preparing for this coming week: one for the review panel and one for the research conference. The two presentations are on the same topic, my research, buthave different audience, different purpose and different style. I notice that i find it far more difficult to prepare the slides for the review panel: this is cause the style is to be less personal, more based on the ‘to do’ and the facts of the research and it is to be presented to non-counsellors who will maybe ‘critisize’ (i hope in a constructive atmosphere) my work and kind of decide on whethere i can proceed. On the other hand, the presentation for the conference has the more ‘personal’ flavour of the research, i feel the freedom to tell my story to the audience of peers and feel that I am allowed to ‘move’ and ‘touch’them if i wish to, without feeling threatened, i can be more myself … Read more »

Am submitting review panel documents tomorrow and it feels like things have somehow ‘come together’…i was feeling kind of stuck lately but i had valuable disussions  and feedback with a number of people that i wish to thank: William, Clare, Steph, Jim, Ann…am not sure how exactly this happened  (maybe through immersion) but as S. pointed out to me:” It might be interesting to include in your thesis your process of fast tracking from stuck to unstuck in the space of 7 days”. In the paper by Lennie and West (under review) titled Dilemmas in Counselling Psychology Research, I read relevant points: … Read more »