My target has been to complete, print and bind a first full draft of the phd thesis, to give to both supervisors by 1st of March and i did make it today! I have been feeling emotional about it, for many reasons that are linked to the connections between the phd and my personal life but my aim was to complete the task of having a full draft at this stage. I am aware that there is still work to be done but i  have to let it go for now and take a breath and rest, till i meet with my supervisors in about 3 weeks time and we discuss their feedback and steps forward…i need some sleep and yet ‘life still happens’ and so many issues that have been on hold due to the phd process are screaming out for my attention…so, taking deep breath and keep going while taking time to stay still and reflect…

Well…long time again since i have posted a note in the blog…life has taken over and in terms of writing, the attention is on producing the Phd Thesis…this new year’s resolution: i dedicate myself in completing the Phd by this summer 2010…and then work on the new phase of my life, with new energy and new wave of creativity, where work-life balance is a priority…am looking forward to completion and having free-er time available!

I just want to make a not on how useful it is to have certain peers available to read sections on the thesis and offer feedback. In Creswell (2007) peer review or debriefing is presented as a strategy for validation of one’s research.  In Lincoln and Cuba (1985) the role of the peer debriefer is seen as ‘devil’s advocate’  in an attempt to keep the researcher honest and ask the challenging questions that would “provide the researcher with the opportunity for catharsis by sympathetically listening to the researcher’s feelings” (Creswell, 2007: 208).  I am thankful to the peers that read my writins and offer such a creative, validation-checking process and further opportunities for sharpening my reflexivity.

Creswell, J.W. (2007 -2nd) Qualitative Inquiry & Research Design: Choosing Among Five Approaches. London: Sage.

Lincoln, Y.S. & Guba, E.G. (1985) Naturalistic Inquiry. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage.

am very busy with so many things these days and time flies so quikly! PhD writing is still hard but am making some progress, the more i go into it the more i discover. A shift that has happened now that i am writing the Discussion chapter, which feels like the hardest so far, is that i start identifying and seeing more clearly the useful practical implications emerging from my research, aside making a great contribution to knowledge/Literature on a topic where literature is actually limited or too fragmented….so, over last weekend and during this week, i have been contemplating on the different ways i can generate work for me, after the PhD, and offer a lot of what comes out in my research and personal experience in the form or workshops, training material, writing papers and so on…that filled me with feelings of both excitement and fear, like it usually happens when one finds his/her niche or calling of what he/she can contribute to, out there, where there is a need….the important thing is to stay grounded with what i have to complete in the present, whilst taking steps (maybe i can dedicate one day a week in planning and organising material for my future career possibilities, once i complete the PhD) towards what i want to build upon, as a basis for the future step…part of me is in the present, part in the future, i need to keep a balance and use my energy resources wisely. I am aware that i feel physically, emotionally and intelectually tired so, looking after myself is crucial at this stage.

Writing is not easy. Having drafted my Findings, I set up to do the Discussion chapter and i soon found that i got
stuck, i have some good days and bad days, i kind of have a
blockage of words flow sometimes cause i think i need to have the juice of the research ready to be articulated…which is not easy, i need to THINK and UNDERSTAND and produce the NEW MEANINGS before i can write them…this is happening gradually. To overcome that and not waste precious time, i also started working on the Literature Review  and i found that maybe doing those 2 chapters parallel may be the way forward…that way, i have some sense of progress.  when i get stuck in the Discussion bit, i go into the Literature and write something there…then, something i have read there kind of helps me write something in the Discussion….it is like the two wheels of the same bike. My supervisor has been advising me to proceed by trial-and-error and find out what works for me so that is ok. also, i have sent my findinsg draft to my 2nd supervisor and expecting some feedback from her….my progress feels very slow but i am trying to stick with it and respect my natural flow, writing needs inspiration, heuristic process needs time to reveal its seeds and can’t be forced so, although the clock is ticking, i trust that i am doing the best i can.  I am generally feeling  tired which means i need some holiday too, even if it for a week, i will see what i can do in August, depending how my writing goes and my energy levels. I feel supported by the fact that other PhD students i talk to feel in a similar way at this stage…