I just want to make a not on how useful it is to have certain peers available to read sections on the thesis and offer feedback. In Creswell (2007) peer review or debriefing is presented as a strategy for validation of one’s research.  In Lincoln and Cuba (1985) the role of the peer debriefer is seen as ‘devil’s advocate’  in an attempt to keep the researcher honest and ask the challenging questions that would “provide the researcher with the opportunity for catharsis by sympathetically listening to the researcher’s feelings” (Creswell, 2007: 208).  I am thankful to the peers that read my writins and offer such a creative, validation-checking process and further opportunities for sharpening my reflexivity.

Creswell, J.W. (2007 -2nd) Qualitative Inquiry & Research Design: Choosing Among Five Approaches. London: Sage.

Lincoln, Y.S. & Guba, E.G. (1985) Naturalistic Inquiry. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage.

am very busy with so many things these days and time flies so quikly! PhD writing is still hard but am making some progress, the more i go into it the more i discover. A shift that has happened now that i am writing the Discussion chapter, which feels like the hardest so far, is that i start identifying and seeing more clearly the useful practical implications emerging from my research, aside making a great contribution to knowledge/Literature on a topic where literature is actually limited or too fragmented….so, over last weekend and during this week, i have been contemplating on the different ways i can generate work for me, after the PhD, and offer a lot of what comes out in my research and personal experience in the form or workshops, training material, writing papers and so on…that filled me with feelings of both excitement and fear, like it usually happens when one finds his/her niche or calling of what he/she can contribute to, out there, where there is a need….the important thing is to stay grounded with what i have to complete in the present, whilst taking steps (maybe i can dedicate one day a week in planning and organising material for my future career possibilities, once i complete the PhD) towards what i want to build upon, as a basis for the future step…part of me is in the present, part in the future, i need to keep a balance and use my energy resources wisely. I am aware that i feel physically, emotionally and intelectually tired so, looking after myself is crucial at this stage.

Writing is not easy. Having drafted my Findings, I set up to do the Discussion chapter and i soon found that i got
stuck, i have some good days and bad days, i kind of have a
blockage of words flow sometimes cause i think i need to have the juice of the research ready to be articulated…which is not easy, i need to THINK and UNDERSTAND and produce the NEW MEANINGS before i can write them…this is happening gradually. To overcome that and not waste precious time, i also started working on the Literature Review  and i found that maybe doing those 2 chapters parallel may be the way forward…that way, i have some sense of progress.  when i get stuck in the Discussion bit, i go into the Literature and write something there…then, something i have read there kind of helps me write something in the Discussion….it is like the two wheels of the same bike. My supervisor has been advising me to proceed by trial-and-error and find out what works for me so that is ok. also, i have sent my findinsg draft to my 2nd supervisor and expecting some feedback from her….my progress feels very slow but i am trying to stick with it and respect my natural flow, writing needs inspiration, heuristic process needs time to reveal its seeds and can’t be forced so, although the clock is ticking, i trust that i am doing the best i can.  I am generally feeling  tired which means i need some holiday too, even if it for a week, i will see what i can do in August, depending how my writing goes and my energy levels. I feel supported by the fact that other PhD students i talk to feel in a similar way at this stage…

This is just a quick update as it has been a while that i haven’t written in this blog. My PhD clock is ticking fast and i am concentrating on thesis writing which is quite demanding, therefore i find that i am so immersed into this text that adding text to the blog has taken a back seat…it is so useful though for me to be finding resources from earlier readings and processes in the researh recorded in here, in this virtual space of my research, that i can copy and paste and work on further in the main body of my thesis…i feel like a chef  (researcher) at the moment that i am cooking my stew (thesis)…i am experimenting with the ingredients and creating new dishes for each chapter. Good food needs slow cooking at different temperatures…this is where i am at right now…i just hope that i dont put on too much weight (phd writing makes me hungry…especially for chocolate …lol…i bought a second-hand exercise bike, it is in the office, i saw the cleaner of our department ‘flirting’ with it one of these days…she said that she needs one of those too!)

I have established a routine in relation to the PhD work to help me structure my day in a way that this is actually my F/T job and am treating the writing process as such. However, although i spend hours in front of the screen or with papers etc, there are actually baby steps towards producing my thesis, my pace is not as i would like to – i know that this is due to the fact that i am processing things and also, now that i am trying to write the auto-biographical section i will include before the methodology chapter, i see that i am kind of regressing and resisting it due to the emotions that it provokes. However, when sharing this with my supervisor earlier today, i heard myself telling him that i am seeing this as a kind of  ‘cleansing’ process almost, it seems that i need to write my story first before i immerse to the data again and work on the participants’ stories. I wished i could do all that at a quicker pace but am trying to be patient…the Heuristic process is highly engaging and demanding and cannot be forced…the baby takes time to grow so i am being a kind, nurturing ‘mother’ to my thesis