Atrapos.eu » Supervision

first thesis draft to supervisors

atrapos — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 14:10:00 +0000

My target has been to complete, print and bind a first full draft of the phd thesis, to give to both supervisors by 1st of March and i did make it today! I have been feeling emotional about it, for many reasons that are linked to the connections between the phd and my personal life but my aim was to complete the task of having a full draft at this stage. I am aware that there is still work to be done but i have to let it go for now and take a breath and rest, till i meet with my supervisors in about 3 weeks time and we discuss their feedback and steps forward…i need some sleep and yet ‘life still happens’ and so many issues that have been on hold due to the phd process are screaming out for my attention…so, taking deep breath and keep going while taking time to stay still and reflect…

supervision with W. (heuristic ‘tuning in’)

atrapos — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:40:45 +0000

As i put together the final draft of my thesis, i can have a clearer vision of the research as a whole. And, in doing so, the inconsistencies or new insights come to the fore, in relation to the heuristic process. I feel unwilling to put the details of my insights in public sight as i am still processing them and reserving them for the ‘baby thesis’ that is preparing to be born…therefore, my silence continues in that virtual space, i am just reporting that i am allowing the heuristic tunings in to take place in a natural way, like the mother or midwife who gets prepared for the delivery…i have to keep breathing naturally, so that i can ‘push’ when the time comes…breath in…breath out…and allowing the final parts take form into a whole that will decide when ready to come to the world

supervision: towards first draft

atrapos — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 13:34:09 +0000

I have been working towards producing the first draft of the whole of my PhD thesis for a while now…i am now writing the final chapter, not easy at all as it includes the various implications of my research, in ‘bolder’ terms – it requires that i am quite specific in my writing style at this section. It is the ‘mature’ phase of the ongoing and time-consuming meaning making process. I then need to put it all together and start serious editing (!). I saw my supervisor today and we set specific goals according specific time deadlines that i shall aim for – i shall remain focus and look after my well-being too, given that my paid-work commitments take a lot of time too. He seemed quite pleased with my progress but we cannot predict much yet, till both supervisors have a whole draft of my thesis to read thoroughly and set a meeting for feedback. I am struggling with holding the tension between staying with the demands of the ‘here-and-now’ of the process and all the hard work that there is still to do and visualing the ending point of completion: i feel anxious, excited, motivated, scared and impatient – all feelings together!

supervision with W. (on literature)

atrapos — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:53:38 +0000

I have managed to complete another chapter of my thesis (literature) within the deadline set between myself and my supervisor. I just came back from supervision, where we discussed the draft of my chapter. I was pleased to hear his view about the quality of my writing; we went through the chapter together and discussed some critical points about the choices i have made. He has some useful suggestions that would improve this chapter, such as do some cleared signposting of the subheadings and include a summary at the end.

I have now completed drafts of all chapters of the thesis, apart from the Introduction and the Conclusion. The next target is to attempt to write those 2 chapters by around end of February time, in which case i will have a full draft of the thesis. The plan after that will be that both my supervisors read the full draft and suggest what is required so that the thesis comes together. If all goes well, i will be able to submit in late spring or early summer. The submission date is still unpredictable, until we have a full draft of the thesis. I am feeling very tired at the moment and i also have the commitments of my P/T teaching job but i am making all effort required to keep focused, healthy and complete the tasks. I also hold a lot of questions and uncertainty around my future, post phd…but it is best to focus on the here-and-now as it is quite demanding! This is my helpful mantra for now: STAY IN THE HERE-AND-NOW!

‘Iteration’ in qualitative research

atrapos — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:03:54 +0000

I have been struggling in my writing with the idea that a PhD chapter cannot get to a stage of completion or coherence in order to move to a next one, i seem to start and stop several writings at the same time, having to return to them numerous times too and getting frustrated with the feeling of costant ‘incomplteteness’ that fills me with anxiety…that state of ‘flux’ and ‘limbo’ is of course a central theme in the whole phenomenon i am exploring and in the research process.

I went to see my supervisor, seeking his guidance for me to move away from that kind of ‘trap’. And here he came talking to me about this being a natural process that is best to accept and embrace than resist, something that he describes with a new english word for me: ITERATION. This is apparently a concept used in Maths and Computer Programming to describe “the act of repeating a process usually with the aim of approaching a desired goal or target or result”. So, i was advised that, at this stage of my attempt to draft a whole of a PhD Thesis, i need to have the patience and useful attitude to be ‘repeating’ parts of the process or move around several parts and constantly add the changes that emerge through the process of writing, till reaching a point that the thesis will ‘hand together’ as a good enough whole. That has been happening anyway in all my projects of academic writing so far…but, i am now taking a new, grounded stance of acceptance and embrace for it…encouraging myself for all these ‘re-visits’ upon my text…till i complete…and, as it is usually true for the therapy process: “a client is ready to complete therapy when he/she realised that it can actually go on for ever”…so, there is the broader issue here about creativity and finding one’s way to express it, knowing that there are several attempts till producing something that sits comfortable…and, although that can be on-going, there is also a point that the writing will have to stop, and that will be ok, at least for the purposes of a PhD

Group Supervision (’speaking my voice’ video)

atrapos — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:49:50 +0000

Toway we had the first group supervision session for the new academic year…i really feel restless now with the PhD, i want to complete and move to the next phase of my life. At the same time, i know i will miss the group here and also, there are many decisions to be made BUT…i need to take things step by step and thesis writing shall be my priority. When it was time for my ’share’ today in the group, i showed them a short video i have prepared of myself speaking in front of a camera when interviewed for some project about two years ago, i call this video: “Speaking my Voice: Snapshots of my cross-cultural experience”. I discussed with my supervisor and the group about seeing this as a way of demonstrating the auto-ethnographic flavour of my research and they thought that it was very good idea, they enjoyed watching it (about 7.5 mins long) and in there, i reflect on some of the themes in the Thesis, it shows also my reflexivity. I also discussed my bit of concerns around ’self-exposure’ but in any case, there is a lot of ‘me’ in the thesis and my audience is not large anyway, i am now writing having the examiners in mind as my audience and reflecting on that. Will leave it there for now…so much writing still ahead but am kind of seeing the ‘end of the tunnel’, will get there!

Group supervision, 20.7.2009

atrapos — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:24:22 +0000

we had our mid-summer, monthly group supervision yesterday and it was once again a very engaging morning. I am thinking to inlcude a 7.5 minutes video in my thesis, where i have collated some recordings from my participation in a project by UKCISA and in which i voice some of my experiences as a foreigner in the UK. I call it Speaking My Voice: Snapshots of my Cross-Cultural Experience – I wanted to show it to the PhD group and seek feedback but, the technology in William’s PC failed us! so, i will take my laptop with me next time to do that…Apart from that, i admit that i am generally tired and my productivity is affected by that. However, i know i just have to keep going and build the thesis little by little, trust myself and the process and believe that i will get there gradually. Today, i also saw William briefly on my own and had some discussions around some difficulties i face with Literature, due to the changing scene of counselling and psychotherapy on the professional front, due to the debate our regulation and so on. this matter is relevant to my research and if the world has not got the answers or has not reached an agreement yet, i also have to accept that i cant have such answers in my thesis, around the matter. Even that is in a state of flux, like many issue in my research topic anyway.

‘writing up’ progress (the 2 wheels of the bike)

atrapos — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:01:41 +0000

Writing is not easy. Having drafted my Findings, I set up to do the Discussion chapter and i soon found that i got
stuck, i have some good days and bad days, i kind of have a
blockage of words flow sometimes cause i think i need to have the juice of the research ready to be articulated…which is not easy, i need to THINK and UNDERSTAND and produce the NEW MEANINGS before i can write them…this is happening gradually. To overcome that and not waste precious time, i also started working on the Literature Review and i found that maybe doing those 2 chapters parallel may be the way forward…that way, i have some sense of progress. when i get stuck in the Discussion bit, i go into the Literature and write something there…then, something i have read there kind of helps me write something in the Discussion….it is like the two wheels of the same bike. My supervisor has been advising me to proceed by trial-and-error and find out what works for me so that is ok. also, i have sent my findinsg draft to my 2nd supervisor and expecting some feedback from her….my progress feels very slow but i am trying to stick with it and respect my natural flow, writing needs inspiration, heuristic process needs time to reveal its seeds and can’t be forced so, although the clock is ticking, i trust that i am doing the best i can. I am generally feeling tired which means i need some holiday too, even if it for a week, i will see what i can do in August, depending how my writing goes and my energy levels. I feel supported by the fact that other PhD students i talk to feel in a similar way at this stage…

supervision with W. (discussion chapter)

atrapos — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 15:48:32 +0000

I had supervision with William today to discuss the drfat chapter of my findings (emailed to him last week) and also the steps forward. Writing my thesis is work in progress, i realise that it is a process of writing and re-writing, constant editing and so on. I need to try and draft the whole thesis before seeing what ‘works’ and what does not. It is as if you are a sculptor and need to have some sort of shape first before making lines more fine or smoothing the edges and so on.

W. advised me to move into the discussion chapter. It is noy easy to imagine the shape of it and i have been contemplating on the subheadings. I see that it is appropriate to approach the subject as a whole. I have some observations that are useful:

1. there is a broad theme of transition and splitting and a process of transcendence, characterised by resilience

2. liminality is also a core process in my research. there seem to be different levels of being liminal that applies to me and the participants: feeling liminal at a personal/existential level and chosing to move abroad due to that, being liminal by making oneself a foreigner/ a migrant and the liminality that is inherent in the choice of becoming and practising as a therapist (the liminality of the profession itself)

3. we also talked about the presence of fear and the challenge of that through the courage for mobility and stepping out of one’s comfort zone, as tied up in dynamics of power that exist at different levels in my research

I keep those in mind and will approach writing this chapter seeking what undeprins them with the implications for the profession and future research in mind. Not having much clarity yet but i know that this will come in the writing itself, through a trial-error attitude that reveals what is meaningful and what not.

Group supervision (24.4.09 & 20.5.09)

atrapos — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:52:04 +0000

During the last 2 group supervision sessions with our PhD group, i have explored in more depth the process of ‘creative synthesis’ i am into in terms of the heuristic journey. I have been writing the findings chapter for quite a while now and i am at a stage of inspiration around meaning-making and how all the material can be presented in a creative way, as a whole. A number of poems have occured to me that are relevant to core themes in my thesis and also a number of metaphors and images that seem to act as ‘vehicles’ or ‘containers’ of meaning, ways of unblocking what was stuck or without words. Sharing those process with my supervisor and the research group has been so useful, it feels a safe place to expore and find ways forward. I have a central metaphor now that i need to write that connects me to my own heritage and it seems to make sense in what has gone through this research. I feel reluctant to share it publicly now in here as i want it to take full form first. Also, in a kind of synchronistic way, a fellow researcher has asked me to co-present with her on the forthcoming research conference at our University about The Use of Metaphor in the Research Process which i know will be very useful at this stage. I am experimenting with the power of my authorship and rhetoric with different audiences and that sharpens my reflexivity even further…i am in deep process, and thankfully, havent ‘lost my marbles’ in all that (new English phrase i have learnt today)!!!

supervision with William, 11.2.09

atrapos — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 23:57:39 +0000

My seeking for clarity in the PhD phase i am into at the moment, i have been reading literature that i found either in the library or though online searches and realised that the next step for me is to write the Literature Review of my Phd thesis, as it is formed through the main themes of my findings. It has been some time now that it was clear to me that it is not easy to do the Literature Review, given that there is not much written on the particular angle i am taking. So, i had arranged for meeting with my supervisor so discuss some dilemmas and strategies i could follow to approach the matter. I looked at 2 doctoral theses (one on existential migration conducted in UK and one on the evolving cultural identities of immigrant psychotherapits conducted in the US) and identified what could be relevant to my writing. Although i have strated reading voraciously at an early stage of my phd, i was advised not to do a Literature Review chapter then so that i could be less pre-occupied around what i was seeking and also cause there is an argument for doing one once the data gives you the angles that require attention. I have now made a list of 22 main themes that come out of my data. (more…)

PhD supervision group

atrapos — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:18:35 +0000

I used my time during the PhD group supervision today to clarify where am at in relation to the research and the writing process. I have acknowledged some dynamics that i have with my interview data that relates to what i understand as ‘hidden agenda’ which leads to certain things not being articulated and leaves me feeling frustrated with it. My supervisor highlighted the importance to see that as part of the phenomenon am exploring and write about it. I have also spoken about how i feel in relation to my sense of power in the role of researcher and this raised a rich conversation in the group about voice, decisions and our positioning as researchers and authors. In terms of writing, i have so far received positive feedback from 4 readers of my methodology chapter (my 2 supervisors and 2 friends/colleagues) which is a good start; however i need to be steadily progressing with it as it will take long. I am aware that i need to be ready to write a certain part, in a heuristic study, and cannot force the process, although the PhD clock keeps ticking. We have agreed with my supervisors that completion will very possibly take longer and that is something to accept and make good use of the time ahead…am not the only one after all!

Supervision with Clare, 10.1.09

atrapos — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 12:20:20 +0000

I arranged to have supervision with my other supervisor today. I informed her about the health situation that it is taking time off my studies and she re-assured me that if i need more time, the Univ takes into account such situations. I also talked with the School’s administrator and she gave me some info about PhD students having the option to go for ’submission pending’ period if they reach their offical deadline but require more time to submit. This is good in terms of not getting too stressed out and having this affecting my work, i definitely cannot write properly if i feel i am in a race and also i need to be ‘compassionate’ towards myself, when i have a health issue to deal with cause it is a priority anyway! (more…)

Discussing methodology draft chapter in supervision

atrapos — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:18:36 +0000

After about 6 weeks of hard work focusing on chapter writing, i managed to produce a coherent methodology chapter for my PhD thesis which i emailed last night to my supervisor and we had a meeting today about it. I received very positive feedback, him commenting that my writing is ‘tour de force’ and attracts the interest of the reader, it is having an impact. We talked about the structure of the Thesis and where i could place what, something that will get clearer as i do more writing. We also discussed some things that i feel confused about and how i position myself towards certain dilemmas. i think what i have to keep doing at this point is just keep writing and possibly all the processing and decisions to be made will become clearer as I proceed. My goal now is to produce another two chapters within certain deadlines we have set: 1. first, i will write a chapter about my ‘own story’ by the end of January, which shall possibly go before the methodology and after the Introduction because it introdices me and gives the context of my reflexivity to the reader. Then 2. i will attempt to do the analysis and write the findings chapter by end of April. This is going to be a bit hard cause i see that there is much more to be done with data analysis before i can do the writing but i will give it a try anyway…time to take a ‘breath’ now and continue with the rest of the journey, it is ongoing now and for the next months and requires my discipline and dedication

PhD group supervision, 21.11.08

atrapos — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:29:02 +0000

During our monthly supervision session today, i shared a poem with the group that i wrote as i am drafting my methodology chapter. I feel that i do not want to disclose it here in public as my supervisor advised me to actually it unclude it in my thesis as an expression of the ‘heuristic illunimation’ phase that seems to be happening and is giving me insights in the forms of metaphor and more creative forms of writing, i.e poetry. I read the poem in front of the Phd group and this generated a fruitful discussion where i expored further how all this images and metaphors that come to my head are related to my PhD topic and the researh process…othe members of the PhD group made their own connections too. I notice that the more i am focusing on producing Phd text, the less am writing in this blog , which is what works for me now and it matches my prioritising. More will come as and when necessary, any comments from readers are still welcome!

PhD group supervision, 25.10.08 (my challenges about ‘language’)

atrapos — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 12:34:14 +0000

We had another very ‘rich’ morning today during PhD group supervision, where everybody brings their own research process or questions/dilemmas around our Phds at this moment in time. When my turn came in the group and as i was talking to them, i realised that i am facing the following layes of challenge in terms of language and ‘finding the words for’ in my PhD:

- I am researching a topic about an experience that my participants find hard to find the words for

- many concepts in my research (like ‘culture’, ‘difference’, what are the boundaries between counselling/psychotherapy/counselling psychology and so on) are highly debatable around what they mean, how they could be defined or how they are differently understood in different contexts, in different countries, in different positionings etc…..so, how i use such terms in my writing and what is meant when i use them is also challenging, i sense i constantly have to be ‘careful’ or constantly explaining

- i am writing this PhD in a second language. this matter has not been an issue for me so far……..but i do feel that it is so demanding of me to be attempting to write rigorously and correctly about a topic that is often ‘beyond words’ , something that even native speakers find hard to articulate or find words for….and do that in a second language! Goodness me!!!!

definitions in the ‘therapy culture/world’

atrapos — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 00:15:33 +0000

Following a discussion i had with the PhD group thsi morning about definitions and boundaries of roles within the professions in the so-called ‘talking therapies’ ( i am not even sure what words/terms to use here as i write now to encompass it all….it is not possible cause there is not a worldwide mutual agreement around the matter!), i have spend a good few hours this evening searching the literature around that…and i did get quite lost! there is a lot of confusion around how the terms ‘counsellor’, ‘psychoterapist’, the different branches of psychology etc are used in the literature and the claims that are taken in relation to professionalisation, regulations and ultimately this impacts on the issue of identity of the ‘therapist’ (if it is to use that term). All this story is mangnified and becomes even more complex for the therapits that moves to work in a different country from where qualifications where received etc, according to the state of affairs in a particulat system, esulting, quite often, in losing the value of qualifications when attempting to transfer to another culture, let alone permission to practice etc. This matter is core in my topic, also huge and i cannot cover it in my thesis. I do have to make reference to it though and discuss its complexity; also come to a stance that i am adopting about how i will use words/terms in my writing in the thesis…i need to keep focused, patient and remember that i cannot change the world….it does feel daunting though that a professional field whose work is to work with self and identity and self-awareness and the like, expresses so much confusion around its own professional identity and culture…

Metaphor for the PhD (‘on the boat’…august 2008)

atrapos — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 09:41:31 +0000

I am now about to begin my final PhD year and there is so much to do, it does feel really chaotic as i need to deal with so many readings, so much writing to do, analyse the data, see how i will come to the ’synthesis’ of the whole piece, decisions to be made about how to tell the tale…I have noticed that i am more confident now in terms of how i manage ( at least emotionaly ) the challenges thrown at me by the whole research/PhD life, but it it still a path that i need to walk and complete, giving my best shot, finding inspiration for the authorship of it and bringing it to a good standard quality

I was writing few pages in my research diary and a metaphor came up for me to capture ‘ where i am at’ at present with the PhD. I wrote: (more…)

Supervision with W. (questionnaire) – 14.7.2008

atrapos — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:07:39 +0000

I am towards the end of my second PhD year and we have scheduled a supervision session with W. to kind of review where i am at, using the reflexivity questionnaire i have created recently, following my recent conference presentation in Manchester about the researcher’s identity and relationship with the PhD process. We have mentioned in the past that, given my research is heuristic and auto-ethnographic in terms of methodology, it is useful to regularly relfect on my own research process and write about it as part of the data itself, something that i will include in my Thesis, at different sections. Doing this PhD is a dynamic journey that shifts me and the understandings of the phenomenon i am exploring in various ways. I notice that when i had a similar supervision session with W. around this time last year, i was then at a different state – far more confused, enmeshed and a bit lost or overwhelmed by the impact of the PhD topic upon me and the research process itself. During this year, i have moved to a totally different position where i am far more emmersed, confident and comfortable with the challenges the research in presenting. I am recording below a brief summary of the answers i have offered when dialoguing with W. earlier this morning, using my PhD questionnaire as a guide: (more…)

Supervision with William, 10.6.08

atrapos — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 16:17:08 +0000

I had a supervision meeting with William today where we discussed various issued of my research (some interesting initial findings, some things i have written, some literature etc). It really looks like my topic is ‘ahead its time’ and has many political dimensions attached to it in relation to the current affairs and future directions of the therapy world, which actually makes it quite interesting but also adds to my challenged in relation to writing about it. William is giving me great feedback about my writings and he actually comlimented a lot my rigour and scholarship today, which was nice and encouraging. We also finalised filling in the 6-month-progress report and I handed it in to Debbie. I have also seen my second supervisor (Clare) last week and we talked about the epistemology/ontology that will go into somewhere when i start drafting the methodology chapter….i really need to organise my paperwork first in order to organise my thinking. i am doing a lot of reading at the same time and have 2 conference presentations to prepare which adds up to all the work. William was very pleased about my progress he acknowledges the challenges i face and the pace i need to proceed, we cannot really force a certain process to unfold when doing qualitative research! so, am aware of the overall deadlines but also follow my natural pace in order to do justice in terms of producing good work…