We had another very ‘rich’ morning today during PhD group supervision, where everybody brings their own research process or questions/dilemmas around our Phds at this moment in time. When my turn came in the group and as i was talking to them, i realised that i am facing the following layes of challenge in terms of language and ‘finding the words for’ in my PhD:

- I am researching a topic about an experience that my participants find hard to find the words for

- many concepts in my research (like ‘culture’, ‘difference’, what are the boundaries between counselling/psychotherapy/counselling psychology and so on) are highly debatable around what they mean, how they could be defined or how they are differently understood in different contexts, in different countries, in different positionings etc…..so, how i use such terms in my writing and what is meant when i use them is also challenging, i sense i constantly have to be ‘careful’ or constantly explaining

- i am writing this PhD in a second language. this matter has not been an issue for me so far……..but i do feel that it is so demanding of me to be attempting to write rigorously and correctly about a topic that is often ‘beyond words’ , something that even native speakers find hard to articulate or find words for….and do that in a second language! Goodness me!!!!

Following a discussion i had with the PhD group thsi morning about definitions and boundaries of roles within the professions in the so-called ‘talking therapies’ ( i am not even sure what words/terms to use here as i write now to encompass it all….it is not possible cause there is not a worldwide mutual agreement around the matter!), i have spend a good few hours this evening searching the literature around that…and i did get quite lost! there is a lot of confusion around how the terms ‘counsellor’, ‘psychoterapist’, the different branches of psychology etc are used in the literature and the claims that are taken in relation to professionalisation, regulations and ultimately this impacts on the issue of identity of the ‘therapist’ (if it is to use that term). All this story is mangnified and becomes even more complex for the therapits that moves to work in a different country from where qualifications where received etc, according to the state of affairs in a particulat system, esulting, quite often, in losing the value of qualifications when attempting to transfer to another culture, let alone permission to practice etc. This matter is core in my topic, also huge and i cannot cover it in my thesis. I do have to make reference to it though and discuss its complexity; also come to a stance that i am adopting about how i will use words/terms in my writing in the thesis…i need to keep focused, patient and remember that i cannot change the world….it does feel daunting though that a professional field whose work is to work with self and identity and self-awareness and the like, expresses so much confusion around its own professional identity and culture…

I am towards the end of my second PhD year and we have scheduled a supervision session with W. to kind of review where i am at, using the reflexivity questionnaire i have created recently, following my recent conference presentation in Manchester about the researcher’s identity and relationship with the PhD process. We have mentioned in the past that, given my research is heuristic and auto-ethnographic in terms of methodology, it is useful to regularly relfect on my own research process and write about it as part of the data itself, something that i will include in my Thesis, at different sections. Doing this PhD is a dynamic journey that shifts me and the understandings of the phenomenon i am exploring in various ways. I notice that when i had a similar supervision session with W. around this time last year, i was then at a different state – far more confused, enmeshed and a bit lost or overwhelmed by the impact of the PhD topic upon me and the research process itself. During this year, i have moved to a totally different position where i am far more emmersed, confident and comfortable with the challenges the research in presenting. I am recording below a brief summary of the answers i have offered when dialoguing with W. earlier this morning, using my PhD questionnaire as a guide: … Read more »

I had a supervision meeting with William today where we discussed various issued of my research (some interesting initial findings, some things i have written, some literature etc). It really looks like my topic is ‘ahead its time’ and has many political dimensions attached to it in relation to the current affairs and future directions of the therapy world, which actually makes it quite interesting but also adds to my challenged in relation to writing about it. William is giving me great feedback about my writings and he actually comlimented a lot my rigour and scholarship today, which was nice and encouraging. We also finalised filling in the 6-month-progress report and I handed it in to Debbie. I have also seen my second supervisor (Clare) last week and we talked about the epistemology/ontology that will go into somewhere when i start drafting the methodology chapter….i really need to organise my paperwork first in order to organise my thinking. i am doing a lot of reading at the same time and have 2 conference presentations to prepare which adds up to all the work. William was very pleased about my progress he acknowledges the challenges i face and the pace i need to proceed, we cannot really force a certain process to unfold when doing qualitative research! so, am aware of the overall deadlines but also follow my natural pace in order to do justice in terms of producing good work…