am very busy with so many things these days and time flies so quikly! PhD writing is still hard but am making some progress, the more i go into it the more i discover. A shift that has happened now that i am writing the Discussion chapter, which feels like the hardest so far, is that i start identifying and seeing more clearly the useful practical implications emerging from my research, aside making a great contribution to knowledge/Literature on a topic where literature is actually limited or too fragmented….so, over last weekend and during this week, i have been contemplating on the different ways i can generate work for me, after the PhD, and offer a lot of what comes out in my research and personal experience in the form or workshops, training material, writing papers and so on…that filled me with feelings of both excitement and fear, like it usually happens when one finds his/her niche or calling of what he/she can contribute to, out there, where there is a need….the important thing is to stay grounded with what i have to complete in the present, whilst taking steps (maybe i can dedicate one day a week in planning and organising material for my future career possibilities, once i complete the PhD) towards what i want to build upon, as a basis for the future step…part of me is in the present, part in the future, i need to keep a balance and use my energy resources wisely. I am aware that i feel physically, emotionally and intelectually tired so, looking after myself is crucial at this stage.

As stated previously, i rarely write in this blog now as i am so absorbed in thesis-writing…but i see this space as a virtual anchor for the research process and myself as writer/researcher so i enjoy sending a post, as and when…i am struggling with various waves of procrastination but am also feeling increasingly restless about completing this PhD, which is such good sign, it has to be done! I feel physically, emotionaly and intellectually tired by the process although i have load of moments of excitement when i realise the significance of my research, as i write, even if writinf feels painful…i really want to complete this research in terms of academic requirements and pass my viva and then, be free to write and work at my own pace, going with the flow and mood of my creativity. I feel i am in a new transitional pahse, although there is still a lot of writing to do in the next few months…it is the transition towards completion, parallel to all other things that take place in my personal and work life that make the whole thing slower…but…i need a balance…and although it is only just after 10 on a Saturday night, am going to sleep…my mind needs rest..zzzzz

we had our mid-summer, monthly group supervision yesterday and it was once again a very engaging morning. I am thinking to inlcude a 7.5 minutes video in my thesis, where i have collated some recordings from my participation in a project by UKCISA and in which i voice some of my experiences as a foreigner in the UK. I call it Speaking My Voice: Snapshots of my Cross-Cultural Experience – I wanted to show it to the PhD group and seek feedback but, the technology in William’s PC failed us! so, i will take my laptop with me next time to do that…Apart from that, i admit that i am generally tired and my productivity is affected by that. However, i know i just have to keep going and build the thesis little by little, trust myself and the process and believe that i will get there gradually. Today, i also saw William briefly on my own and had some discussions around some difficulties i face with Literature, due to the changing scene of counselling and psychotherapy on the professional front, due to the debate our regulation and so on. this matter is relevant to my research and if the world has not got the answers or has not reached an agreement yet, i also have to accept that i cant have such answers in my thesis, around the matter. Even that is in a state of flux, like many issue in my research topic anyway.

Writing is not easy. Having drafted my Findings, I set up to do the Discussion chapter and i soon found that i got
stuck, i have some good days and bad days, i kind of have a
blockage of words flow sometimes cause i think i need to have the juice of the research ready to be articulated…which is not easy, i need to THINK and UNDERSTAND and produce the NEW MEANINGS before i can write them…this is happening gradually. To overcome that and not waste precious time, i also started working on the Literature Review  and i found that maybe doing those 2 chapters parallel may be the way forward…that way, i have some sense of progress.  when i get stuck in the Discussion bit, i go into the Literature and write something there…then, something i have read there kind of helps me write something in the Discussion….it is like the two wheels of the same bike. My supervisor has been advising me to proceed by trial-and-error and find out what works for me so that is ok. also, i have sent my findinsg draft to my 2nd supervisor and expecting some feedback from her….my progress feels very slow but i am trying to stick with it and respect my natural flow, writing needs inspiration, heuristic process needs time to reveal its seeds and can’t be forced so, although the clock is ticking, i trust that i am doing the best i can.  I am generally feeling  tired which means i need some holiday too, even if it for a week, i will see what i can do in August, depending how my writing goes and my energy levels. I feel supported by the fact that other PhD students i talk to feel in a similar way at this stage…

This was in interesting week, i did a very interesting presentation at a Research conference with a colleague with the title: The use of metaphor, poetry and art as agents in the qualitative research process…the audience responded very warmly and there was a spell of creativity that was provoked, for all participants, including us, the presenters!

the author of this blog has her birthday today. I make many wishes that are dear to my heart for this coming year…one of them is that by this time next year, i will have finished my PhD succesfully and will be full of ideas as well as opportunities to offer its contribution wherever it is my calling…happy birthday to me and the birth of a new phase of writing towards producing a good thesis!